I have no plans

by punchmommybelievesinlife

We must be wiling to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. – Joseph Campbell

What are you going to do now? Some people have asked. Before cancer, I had everything planned out. There was the three month, six month, and nine month plans. Then I had one year and five year plans. All of these carefully laid plans were thrown out the window when I was diagnoses. Will you take the bar in the next state we move to? I don’t know. Will you work? I don’t know. What will you do with your time? I don’t know. This was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. The unknown, the lack of having a plan was unnerving. But now, I’ve found comfort in having no plans. I’m trying to be here, right now, fully. The only thing that matters is what’s happening right now. I’ve come to love living fully in the moment and so I have decided to plan on not making a plan. Instead, I have set some goals:

  1. Rest and sleep. Rest is the best medicine I have now. Many people say it can take a year to feel like your “normal” self and the best thing you can do to heal is to rest. 
  2. Exercise. During treatment, I could barely walk to the bathroom because I was too weak. I literally stayed in bed 24 hours a day. When I wasn’t in bed, I was in a wheelchair. As a result of my inactivity, I have disuse osteopenia, which is luckily a reversible condition. My knees, lower legs, and ankles are very achy, which is likely due to lack of use and muscle atrophy. So I will exercise a little bit each day and I will go to all of my physical therapy sessions.
  3. Eat well. Now is my second chance to do right by my body. I am committed to Perfect Health and I will only put those things in and on my body that stay true to this intention.
  4. Drink 2-3 liters of water every day. Apparently, it takes three to six months for all of the chemo to leave your body and the best way to flush your system is to drink water. Sometimes I am so thirsty that I cannot quench my thirst. Other times, I don’t feel thirsty at all. But, I will drink and drink and drink until all of the chemo is gone.
  5. Spend time with my family. 
  6. Read for pleasure. 
  7. Learn how to be a survivor and not a victim.
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