February 1st, my two-year-cancer-free anniversary was fast approaching. In like a lion, out like a lamb. This was the BIG milestone. The date we all held our breath for. There are no reported recurrences of this type of tumor after two years of remission. That means that I have every reason to believe that I will remain cancer free. Forever.
On the one hand I was feeling relieved and elated, finally, finally I can put this behind me, while on the other I was feeling cautious and not wanting to pop the cork before the clock struck 12. But I could sense a shift. I could feel that this whole episode, this saga, this utterly complicated soap opera, was finally over. The curtain closed, the orchestra packed up and and the last audience member had left the building. All I could see were a few of the maintenance crew quietly sweeping the floors and turning out the lights.
February 3rd was my last scan. I scheduled it as close to my two-year anniversary as I could. Hi Miz Wizeman, is there any chance we can move your scan on February 3rd? No! absolutely not. This is one appointment that cannot be changed. I waited long enough for this one. As the day approached, I still wasn’t sure how I should feel. Then, the night before, I got an email from a best friend.
…I just want to wish you lots of good luck! When you’re being scanned just know this is the after picture, the glam shot. This is better than any make-over shot, better than an “I just had my braces off picture,” better than “I just went from B cups to D cups,” this is the ultimate picture of health! So don’t forget to smile 😉
I realized then, that I didn’t need words or feelings for those have long been exhausted. All I needed to do was smile and take a bow. I am cancer-free.