A boat without its captain just a vessel. Yes, there is a crew and despite the crew’s ability and love for the boat, they are alas, just a crew…a crew with no captain.
I never put much thought into leaving my southern captain behind when we moved. I just assumed my northern captain would pick up right where the old one left off. Just like in a baton relay, my captains would trade their duties from one to the other seamlessly. But that’s not what happened when I moved north. My new captain dropped the baton and I was the one running around the arena without it. Where am I going? What am I doing? Where’s the baton?
Luckily though, I have found a new captain. We met yesterday for the first time and his words were the ones I’ve searched for. The filling defect is still present in my SVC but it has not changed in size or SUV. It has been stable since we started monitoring it a few months ago. My new captain carefully went through the research, the statistics, his experience, the nuances of my case, and told me that he was cautiously optimistic that this little spot is just healthy tissue. He showed me that all signs point to health not to disease. Yes, we still don’t know what this spot is and yes, I still have to wait and see and rescan, but none of that matters because my captain has hope. My captain cares about me and wants to get over this wave in the sea together. In that one hour meeting, much of my pain in the past two months was rocked away. Finally, I felt cradled and protected in my new northern home. Finally, my ship has a captain and together, we are steering towards clear weather.