Punchy Mommy Believes in Life

How I evicted the worst uninvited overnight guest and took back my life

I had cancer

I wonder if there will be a time when I don’t cry when I say I had cancer. It’s starting to get embarrassing. Several people have commented on how they either didn’t recognize me with my hair cut or were complementing me on how much they liked my new hair cut. Most of the time I’ve either just smiled or said thanks. But sometimes, I just can’t help myself. I have to correct them. Maybe it’s the lawyer in me, but I can’t stand when someone has the wrong impression. Oh, I didn’t cut my hair. I had cancer. Why do I do this to myself? I should just walk away but I don’t…I can’t. By the time I utter the word cancer I have tears rolling down my cheeks, which always gets me a warm hand on my shoulder and a pathetic sad face look. I’m so tired of the sad face look! Maybe I say it because it’s time to share this with the universe. It’s time to release these memories, like little crumbs that I can leave here and there. I do feel a little better with each of these public admissions. There’s no secret here anymore. I had cancer and I’m ready to shout it from the rooftops.

I accept myself unconditionally right now.
                                – Dr. Christiane Northrup

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A health history I don’t recognize

health-history-form

I went to the dentist the other day. I was long overdue for a cleaning and after all the abuse my body has been through in the past six months I figured it was time. I was a new patient so I was given a new patient questionnaire to fill out.

Has your health changed significantly in the past 2 years? Yes.

Have you been hospitalized in the past year? Yes.

When is the last time you were seen by a doctor? Yesterday.

Please list the names of your treating physicians. Um, I have more treating physicians than the space provided. Should I use the back?

Please circle “Yes” or “No” if any of the following apply to you:

Cancer. Yes.

    Please list the type of cancer. Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, primary mediastinal b cell lymphoma.

Chemotherapy. Yes.

Blood transfusions. Yes. 

I’ve filled these questionnaires out many times. I took pleasure in writing “N/A” with long lines through all of the ailments listed. Who is this person with this health history that I now have to disclose? How could she be me?

 

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